The Most Beautiful Woman in the World --for the Ahjumawi People

Once upon a time, there lived a woman who was the most beautiful woman in the world so her people called her, "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World." She always wore a beautiful red dress made of hummingbird flowers which everyone agreed was The Most Beautiful Dress in the World. Her long long hair, black as ravens' wings, danced around her like a flight of birds and everyone agreed that hers was The Most Beautiful Hair in the World. Her body was as strong and lithe and as perfumed and cinnamon-colored as the cedar trees and it was obvious that hers was The Most Beautiful Body in the World. And it was only natural that The Most Beautiful Woman in the World should live in The Most Beautiful Place on Earth, where the two icy blue rivers met. And the land was covered with acorns and blackberries and wildflowers and the deer and bear lived together. And out of all of The Most Beautiful Place on Earth, rose The Most Beautiful Mountain on Earth, shining like a huge white diamond. One day The Most Beautiful Woman in the World decided to bathe in The Most Beautiful Lake on Earth and the water responded to her beauty and began to grow warm. And every time she bathed, the water became warmer. And when she rose out of the water, the water tried to follow her footsteps and coursed through the earth in warm bubbly springs which sounded like her laughter, which of course was The Most Beautiful Laughter on Earth. And The Most Beautiful Woman in the World lived on The Most Beautiful Place on Earth for 10,000 years or more.

And over time, word of The Most Beautiful Woman in the World slowly spread until it reached the ears of The Most Pale Man on Earth. He lived in a land of perpetual snow and cold because the huge buildings he had built blocked out the sun. He had killed all the animals and silenced the birds and paved over the meadows, and everyone agreed that he lived on The Most Ugly Place on Earth. But when he heard of The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, even though he was almost deaf from all the loud ugly machines he had built, his ears warmed to the stories about her, so he decided to cross The Greatest Sea on Earth in search of her. It took him several hundred years, but one day he saw in the distance, The Most Beautiful Mountain on Earth and he knew he had finally found her. But when at last he approached her, The Most Beautiful Woman in the World turned away in fear because he was The Most Ugly Man on Earth. And when he spoke to her, asking her to come with him, his voice sounded like the harsh rasping of metal on metal, and she said to him, "I cannot go with you because you are The Coldest Man on Earth." In his despair and anger, he secretly followed her about, and wondered at the warm water which followed her everywhere; and he thought, "If I take away the water, this will no longer be The Most Beautiful Place on Earth and then surely she will leave and come with me."

So he brought in thousands of men who were surely The Most Ugly Men on Earth, and they began tearing up the trees out of the earth, and planted instead hideous long cement tubes which sucked the water out of the earth. And rapidly, the face of The Most Beautiful Place on Earth began to change and became barren and scarred. And The Most Beautiful Woman in the World cried so much that her tears made the water salty. And the water too became unhappy and began hissing and boiling. And The Most Ugly Man on Earth, in his blind greed, took everything he could see until there was nothing left but The Most Beautiful Mountain on Earth. And The Most Beautiful Woman in the World ran to the mountain and began climbing and climbing, cutting her hands and knees on the icy crags and tearing The Most Beautiful Dress in the World. And when she finally reached the top of The Most Beautiful Mountain on Earth, she said, "The Most Beautiful Place on Earth is gone and there is nothing left for me," so she threw herself into the top of the mountain. But the mountain, which was also The Most Powerful Mountain on Earth, said, "I cannot let The Most Beautiful Woman in the World perish because then I will have nothing left." And in his great sadness and anger, he gathered up all the power in the world from deep in the heart of The Most Beautiful Place on Earth and he threw her back out of the mountain. And her long black hair, The Most Beautiful Hair in the World, coursed and flew down the mountain like sharp black glass covering the land in hot dark weaving rivers. And The Most Beautiful Dress in the World, torn asunder, fell down on The Most Ugly Men on Earth in flaming embers. And her Most Beautiful Body in the World, splintered into sharp fragments, fell like jagged spears upon The Ugliest Men on Earth. And The Most Beautiful Mountain on Earth shook all the land so violently that all of the ugly cement holes and huge hideous dams broke and cracked, and the water poured once again into the earth filling the empty lakes and riverbeds, drowning all of The Most Ugly Men on Earth.

And so she returned, The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, but now you have to look carefully to find her. Her Most Beautiful Hair in the World is laid out in designs of black rocks pointing to the stars. Each of the million pieces of the Most Beautiful Body in the World grew into a new tree. A few patches of The Most Beautiful Dress in the World were found by the hummingbirds and planted again to become fields of red flowers. And if you listen closely, her laughter, The Most Beautiful Laughter in the World, can still be heard flowing through the two rivers in The Most Beautiful Place on Earth.


© Eskimo Pie Girl