Rooted

 

Every day, the sun shines bright. 

And here I am, wanting to face the light. 

The warmth falls softly upon my face,

Making me smile, loving every place. 

 

My bright yellow love soars high like a dove.

Wanting to shower all from above. 

Wanting to be everlasting to you. 

Wanting loyalty in everything I do. 

 

You see my petals and my stem,

But you donÕt know whatÕs beneath them.

IÕve learned to tolerate heat and pain,

Since my roots run deep and help me gain.

 

My yellow glow has so much power,

And I only grow stronger by the hour.

The sunflower I am will always grow tall,

High enough to watch and see all Ōtil I fall.

 

 

What We Were

 

Every night we had a fight

Most times, IÕm not sure why

We tried, we cried, we died inside

We both thought we were wise

It hurts hearing hate, and besides

IÕm lost, I donÕt want more

 

Don't you remember

The reason you loved me before

 

Love is trust and faith with us

I forgot why, but itÕs a must

You yell, I yield, yet itÕs not enough

I was the piggy, you were my wolf

Love is a foundation of a relation

But you blew this house you knew away

DonÕt know what else to do or say

What else did you have in store?

 

Don't you remember

The reason you loved me before


IÕve had enough of this pain and hate

I now know what I need, itÕs right

I always asked for help and more

But you start to fight or run out doors

I fought for this, our days of bliss

But I wonÕt miss having this war

 

Don't you remember

The reason you loved me before

 

Refrain: DonÕt You Remember, by Adele 



My Worth

 

You donÕt understand. I ripped out a piece of my heart to make room for you. I made space for you to heal and you bring it up like its a joke. I know it's not, but can you at least stop bringing it up. I'm trying to forget everything to help myself heal, but you bring it up like it doesn't hurt me. IT DOES. Every single time you mention it. IT HURTS. I hide my pain for you. I feel like I'm not allowed to hurt inside because I know I did you wrong, but I can't just erase every memory I made or every feeling I felt, like you want me to. He made me happy. But all you saw was wrong. Of all the things that we did together, there is so much more to just what you complained about.

With him, I felt wanted.

And to be honest, I don't feel that way very often around the people I'm usually with. With you, I feel like a maid. Yes, you take me out and yes, you provide for me, buying all these ŅgiftsÓ for me because you can, but you could never provide the emotional support I needed. Whenever I did need emotional support you either turned away or criticized me for it, making me feel even worse. When you found out I hurt myself, you didn't try to make me feel better; you lectured me, telling me everything I was doing wrong and you made me feel like I am always at fault. Yes. I was, but the least you could do for me was try and help. There have been times where I'll be crying in my room and you walk past looking at me. Staring me down. But then you walk away. You don't even want to assess the situation and you don't even want to try and help me. This is why I hide. This is why I don't come to you when I'm sad or depressed or feel any negative emotion. It's because I know you wonÕt feel any sympathy for me. You wonÕt try and make me feel any better. You will push me farther down in the hole IÕm already in and kick some dirt in my face just for fun. It may not seem like that for you, but THAT'S WHAT I FEEL. 

With him, I found someone who listened.

Not only did you choose not to listen to me, but the ŅfriendsÓ I have at school, the ŅfriendsÓ I see every day, don't listen. I feel like an ACCESSORY to them. Another pretty face to their friendly crowd. But I'm just an item. I sit and listen and look pretty and give advice when they ask even though I know they're not gonna take it. And I'm always there for them when they need me but do they ever reciprocate? No. There have been times where I'm asking for help and they're never there. They turn their cheek. ItÕs like my comment was never made or my call for help is muted to them. At times they do acknowledge me, but as soon as they give a short answer they immediately put my problems aside to make room for their own. Do you understand how that feels? It hurts. But I don't want to say anything because I don't want to be any more of a burden than what I already am. That's what I feel like I am to you people. A burden.

But to him, he makes me feel like a key. I am there for him to open doors to new opportunities and I'm needed.

To him, I am his music. He wants to listen to what I have to say. He asks how I am all the time and he wants to hear every detail and absorb what I have to give. He wants to be with me and it's not always about the physical. He's there for me physically when I'm in pain, emotionally when I'm crying my heart out, and mentally when I can't keep my thoughts together. And I am there for him just as much as he will be there for me. He calms me and makes me feel whole. And I let you rip him apart from me. I know he's not the only guy in the world, but no one has ever made me feel the way he does and that feeling he gives me; I want that in my life. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out, but don't keep me from an opportunity with more happiness in my life. Yes, there are many other experiences that make me happy, but with him, it's a different kind of happy. A happy that I want to experience. A happy that makes me a new ŅmeÓ. A Better ŅMeÓ. And I wish you would understand. But you don't.

 

© Alyzza Marie Cipriaso

 

Bio:  Alyzza Marie Cipriaso is an aspiring writer from Buena Park, California. She plans to continue her studies at Biola University under a nursing major with a minor in missions and wants to pursue her career as a travel nurse. With a passion for music, Alyzza is constantly found working in a harmonious atmosphere to drown out all distractions. Her love for God and music is what keeps her motivated and full of joy, even on her lowest days. When she is not writing or focused on school, you will be able to find Alyzza exploring local cafes and shops with her best friends and family. 

            Alyzza Marie thoroughly enjoys writing poetry and short fiction stories about love and family, because they are her main inspirations. Her little sister, Emilia Mariell, shines a light on her and encourages her to write her best work about happiness and love. From her many experiences, Alyzza is able to write a variety of styles and genres, but her favorite style is lyrical poetry. In 2019, Alyzza received an award from the 21st Annual Teen Contests by the Friends of Cerritos Library in 2nd place for Poetry. You will be able to find one of her poems on the Cerritos Library website. Alyzza continually strived to improve her writing and plans on moving forward in her publications.