(Photo of RC deWinter)
Stuck at the Border
Your visit was a sweet surprise,
an unexpected gift in this Sahara of a life.
It was like the old days,
not all of which were good,
but surely better than the ones I'm living now.
We spoke as if we had seen each other
instead of the three thousand
and some odd it's been.
Your stay was too short;
one minute you were sitting next to me
and the next you misted away,
drifting down a corridor I had never noticed.
When I tried to follow it evaporated,
leaving me standing between two stairways
that led to the same place: today.
I long for yesterday, but yesterday –
that's another country,
Last night, my darling, there wasn't
a micron of space between us.
You wrapped me in your blueness
as we lay, a living circle of yin/yang.
Sooty stubble scraped my face softly;
I welcomed every bristle marking me as yours.
Your skin tasted of ash and desire
as I nibbled my way down your long leanness,
your unintelligible murmurings
proof of the power of lips on flesh.
We became each other seamlessly,
faded into myth, and I loved you even more
when you brought me morning coffee.
so when it was over
i quoted fleetwood mac
sitting behind the curtain
i granted absolution
to what were lies to begin with
that night in the old hotel
when i printed your skin
with the blood of my lips
you fed my brain
that laundry list of all the medications
you were taking
while standing in the kitchen
cooking the dinner never eaten
you never could bring yourself
to do me properly
ink on skin took the place of kisses
and everybody knew
what was going on between us
but you and me
i know i could have loved you
but all you ever taught me
was how to use a knife
on the ides of march
it's a grey day
it has in fact
been a grey spring
the natural order of things
has been reversed
the lamb arrived too early
devoured by the lion resurrected
deprived of the sun's kiss
the buds are sullen
reluctant to bloom
advertise their nakedness
waving bare branches
in the wind
spring is veiled
in the pall of disappointment
looking forward to flowers
looking forward to light
and in the absence of warmth
i gush the bitter fluid of frustration
stewing in my own juice
© RC deWinter
Bio: RC deWinterÕs poetry is anthologized in Uno: A Poetry Anthology (Verian Thomas, 2002), New York City Haiku (NY Times, 2017), Cowboys & Cocktails: Poetry from the True Grit Saloon (Brick Street Poetry, April 2019), Havik (Las Positas College, May 2019), Castabout Literature (Dantoin/Hilgart, June 2019) The Flickering Light (Down in the Dirt, June 2019), in print in 2River View, Down in the Dirt, Genre Urban Arts, Meat For Tea: The Valley Review, Pilcrow & Dagger, Pink Panther Magazine, Reality Break Press, Scarlet Leaf Review, The New York Times and in numerous online literary journals.