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(Photo of Laura Etienne)

 

 

4 a.m. 

 

You left it here again.

I feel you. Crawling 

Under my skin. Engulfing me

Flames beneath the sheets.

 

I let you in again.

IÕm scarred, bruised. Burnt. Choking.

The sweetest pleasure is pain they say.

ItÕs true.

 

Come 1am you run

And across town you are breathing. Whilst

She lies silently beside you

Blissfully dreaming. 

 

 

 

Hospital Scribbles 

 

I'm currently lying in hospital wearing a gown and pressure socks after having surgery for an infected tooth. Over three days it got worse and worse and I can honestly say the pain was horrific. I couldn't think of anything but the ear-splitting, throbbing, excruciating pain. I was on my hands and knees as if about to go into labour and I'm not even joking. Went to hospital. The A&E doctors kept me waiting for 7 hours. SEVEN HOURS I shit you not! No pain killers, just rocking on the floor of the waiting room moaning and crying in pain. Eventually when I saw the right person I was rushed into theatre for the tooth to be removed and the abscess drained. 

 

I came round from surgery, still in agony but gradually the physical pain wained and got easier...and then the mental pain came flooding back with a vengeance. 

You see I have severe depression. Unbearable depression. Suicidal depression. 

The excruciating pain of that tooth over three days and not being able to think of anything but that pain is the only relief I've had in months.

 

© Laura Etienne

 

 

Bio:  Laura Etienne is from the North East of England. She has a Master's degree in Creative Writing and loves to write poetry, fiction and scripts of all kinds.  Her Instagram is laetienne.