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(Photo of Doug Hawley and friend)

 

 

Dump

 

Year One Of The President’s Term:

 

A compliant Republican party backed the President’s anti-immigrant stance.  The countries whose citizens were denied entrance condemned the US and sought to censure America in the United Nations.  Their cause was bolstered by America moving its embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.  Although they had majority support, their measure was vetoed by the US and its few allies, although some of the vetoes were lukewarm, because of the President’s undiplomatic actions.   He had called the Prime Minister of France “that greasy trash”, which did not help him or the US at all.

 

Internally, the US doubled its immigration force and removed most of the undocumented workers from the US with only the clothes on their backs.  During harvest season many of the crops were left to rot without field hands.  The president incorrectly claimed that American citizens would do the work, and welfare rolls would be cleared out.  With the 20% tariff placed on all imports, prices for cars, appliances and many foods increased.

 

The tariff on all goods imported from China goods infuriated the Chinese government.  China began buying all of its grain and coal imports from Australia.  Europeans and other Asians were happy to pick up all of the business that previously went to America.  China downgraded its diplomatic presence in the US, and the US reciprocated.

 

East Asians noticed that the US had become disinterested in their region and started to make their own deals with China without consulting the US.

 

Protests and random terrorism picked up throughout the country sponsored by groups including, but not limited to, Muslims, Latinos, blacks and evangelical Christians.  The evangelicals that had grudgingly swallowed his many marriages, balked at the rumor of his daughters being in Lesbian relationships.  Almost anything was believed of his family based on the president’s outrageous public behavior.  The three or four celebrities that had endorsed the president disappeared from public view.

 

Year Two

 

The Department Of Labor announced that the cost of living has gone up 15% from the past year, mostly because of the tariffs that the president introduced.  The electronics and other industries suffered from a lack of available rare earth elements usually sourced from China.  Given the economic instability, mortgage rates went up to 8% from their previous low levels and were expected to rise further.  Other loan rates increased similarly.

 

The President responded by firing half of the Department Of Labor and barred the remainder from making any more reports.  He promised that once his tax cuts took effect, the economy would be huge.  An independent economist calculated that a family earning $60,000 a year would save $200 a year and a family making $250,000 would save $25,000 a year with the proposed changes.  Infrastructure and military expenditures went up by hundreds of billions as taxes went down.  The resulting deficit went to two trillion dollars.

 

The president declared that Mexico and China had not learned their lesson yet.  He ordered troops to Mexico to stop the drug trade.  Total casualties reached 5,925 on both sides, most of whom were civilians, with little effect on the drug trade.  Mexico broke diplomatic relations with the US and slid into depression from factories shut down due to the tariff, and the lack of money sent home from Mexicans in America.

 

China broke off relations after the US recognized the Taiwan government and vowed to fight for Taiwan over some disputed, unpopulated islands.  The government refused to fund any more US debt as well.

 

During the run up to the mid-term elections, a Republican Representative from California famously responded “Who?” when asked about the president.  The economy and foreign relations were in such bad shape that all Republican senators and representatives ran away from the president and claimed that they were always against him, despite evidence to the contrary.

 

Democrats ended up with an 11 seat majority in the Senate and a 43 advantage in the House.  As soon as Congress convened, a bill of particulars was drawn up to impeach the president, despite the thought that the vice president might be even worse than the president.

 

In order to fund the government, the president proposed selling off the Interstate Highways and public lands.  All Democrat Congressmen and most Republicans refused.

 

In order to increase his ratings, the president initiated a live “White House With The President” show on the Fox network.  Although he denied it, it turned out that most of the seeming sycophants appearing on the show were paid out of work actors whose stories were fabrications.  Others were models hired to imply glorious sex with the president, said with a wink, to have happened before his current marriage.

 

It got worse.  Random Leaks had three bundles of emails from the White House.  The traitorous ones were to Russia on how best to invade and defeat the Ukraine.  The nasty one was an enemies list which included prominent politicians of both parties, religious leaders and business people.  The last, which was never released, was rumored to contain pictures of the president’s family in various compromising situations with people of a variety of genders, races and religions.

 

In response, the president made his final official statement as president – “My term has been so successful that I’m able to step down and return to my business interests which have been hurting since I left.  There is no one but I who can save them from the incompetents in charge now.  Sad.  Further I believe that the Democratic majority in congress will thwart all of my wonderful initiatives.  Bad people.”

 

A day later the former first lady announced “I’m getting a divorce and marrying Jameson Edwards.”  Mr. Edwards was a thirty year old tech multi-billionaire living in San Francisco.

 

© Doug Hawley

 

Bio:  The author is short, a little old man who lives with editor Sharon and cat Kitzhaber (named after a failed Oregon governor) in Lake Oswego of the same state.  Before dabbling in writing, he was a math teacher and actuary.  He twits @dougiamm and webs at https://sites.google.com/site/aberrantword/.