Roger Humes

[miss lonely hearts is now online]

miss lonely hearts stands on the shelf
and wonders if maybe this is the day
when they crash down all dreams
because someone's at the gate checking credit ratings
and someone's at the door saying something
about the car being towed and someone's
on the phone about an overdue bill over a war
in iraq or egypt or nigeria or some place like that
miss lonely hearts doesn't know because she gets
all her news from the cable channel and hasn't walked
across the block into another part of the world for oh so long

miss lonely hearts gets tired of hearing the people say
what is wrong when she is being told what is right because
who wants to take the time to think and besides it all comes down
in the end to something she doesn't want to think about and that's why
she quit going to the mall years ago because there were too many choices
and it hurt her head and the lights were too bright and the noise scraped
her ears like sandpaper across the cat's scrotum and when she got back home
the lights were off and who knows who might be waiting in the dark
and she would miss her favorite show and once she found a delivery
she could trust was never going to cross the threshold again and spend
all her time enwrapped in the bliss of 312 channels because once in there
the people lookedbetterweresmartereasiertopredict&neverletyoudown
so why even bother any more because you know once you give it a shot
you will probably just fall flat and have to listen to the rest of the world
say "I told you so" with their smug and proper ways and besides what did they know
what it took to be an american these days what with the rest of the world all wrong
and jealous of miss lonely hearts because she dared to be bigandbraveandfree
and was always right because she told god to tell her it was so and what did
those frogs and kites and wops and sandniggers know about the real world because
you know they don't get to see the world like miss lonely hearts does

miss lonely hearts would give you a call and let you know how she was doing
but that would mean putting down the remote and walking out into another room
and you never know who might be looking in the window and there are always those drive-by
shootings but that is the price you pay when you live in a country free enough
to arm the insane and the children first so she might send you an email later
at least when the cable man comes and hooks the computer up to her tv so just you wait and she
will tell what the world is really like and how you should be because she sees it
every night on the news and it doesn't take a rocket scientist long even to figure out
if you listen long enough to someone telling you what to say by god you will believe
that you said it yourself and we all know in the end that is what makes america great
because we trust our government enough to think for us and aren't afraid to let them
tell us that we said so but you couldn't expect no euro-trash or third world darkie
to understand that true freedom means they can take the rights of some because you know
that yours are safe for the moment and so you can have anything you want as long as
you are willing to go far enough in debt to get it because in the end once you die
the universe ends and all that is left is wasted so you might as well fill as many holes
in you as you can while it lasts as long as they come wrapped in plastic three-fold
because the more you consume the more you help make jobs so more people can consume more
and even those euro-trash might benefit but would they ever gives us credit no
they still resent we bailed their butts out and who cares if history doesn't agree with what she just said because it's true because we are americans and we say it's so

now if walmart delivered miss lonely hearts could pray to god  from her doorstep
and never come out of her bedroom again and that would be just duckie because
who would want to leave the splendor of the true america except maybe some
tree hugging dope smoking leftist who should be shipped off to russia or
north korea of berkeley or some other such place where some traitor should go
to be with their own kind and leave miss lonely hearts alone so she can get on
with being a god-loving patriot which i am sure you know what that means
because if you don't then that is just too sad and miss lonely hearts won't waste her breath
or time of day on you because she just has too much important to do what with her full calendar
of events which she would show you but she can't remember how to program the pda and
what does it matter anyway because it is time for the next show and if you have to ask
what the show is then you're even more pathetic than she thought you were
when you interrupted the important things she was doing whatever that was except she knows
it had to be important because she was told it was and there you go if you can't understand that
maybe you should go back to where you came from because you are just not worth her time

[miss lonely hearts is now offline]

© Roger Humes

Bio:  Roger Humes is a poet/songwriter/computer graphic artist from Claremont, Ca.  He is the Director of the Other Voices International Project, a growing cyber-anthology of world poetry that can be found at:, email: