ARFURA

 

I have what has been
medically described as

A Really Fucked Up Right Ankle

 

It started out as a
basketball casuality
and then was escalated
by arthritis and later
got even worse by rolling
enough to rupture
a tendon in the leg

 

Then it grew a bone spur
fifty years after one

kept Trump out of Vietnam

but did not stop him from
grabbing them by the pussy

 

Such is life

I guess

 

 

Child Abuse

 

Flash

A lawsuit has been filed

in DC Court by a
consortium of adults
claiming that years ago
they were abused by
foster parents or guardians

 

While details are still sketchy,

some of the complaints
have been leaked:

One complaint states that

as a youngster, the boy
was put into dangerous
situations and made to
drive a powerful car
when he was too young
to even obtain a license.

 

Another states that

in addition to putting
a teenager in constant
danger, an irresponsible
act caused him to be
captured by a foreign
government and
brainwashed


A third complaint states that
the teenager was forced

to become an expert archer
and work with explosives

 

The fourth complaint charges

two teenagers were forced

to work with fire and use it
in dangerous situations

 

While the names of those bringing
the suit have not yet been released,

it is known that the defendants are
Steve Rogers, Oliver Queen,
Reed Richards, the estate of
Jim Hammond, and Bruce Wayne

 

It should be pointed out that,
unlike another high-profile case,
there is no complaint of any
sexual abuse.

In that case, a defendant known
only as “Donald” is charged with
abusing his orphaned nephews
who maintain that Donald is a
Duckophile.

 

 

My Cheap Irish Skin

 

When I was first
diagnosed with
skin cancer

my son,
the screenwriter,
said that it
was because of
my cheap Irish skin

 

He is probably right

My wife is of
German-Polish extraction
(neither of the families
thought such a marriage
was a good idea – My

mother-in-law
referred to her
mother-in-law
as “The Nazi
).

 

She can sit out
on the beach
for five hours

at a clip – and tan

I can’t do twenty minutes

 

And it’s not just me
I grew up in an
Irish Catholic NYC
neighborhood and
most of the people
that I knew stayed
out of the Sun or
wound up, like me,
with skin cancer

 

Oh, well

it could be worse

 

 

Bowlegs

When I was carrying
the Wonder Dog
across the 4 degree ice
into the house
I was walking carefully
with my legs spread

 

For some reason
I was reminded
of a silly joke
originated by an
unknown author

that I heard as
a teenager.

It seems that
Junior the
foul-mouthed
little boy was
on a bus
with his mother
when some
Rodeo Riders
came on the bus

Junior cried out
Mom look at these
bow-legged bastards!


His mother,
totally embarrassed,
took him home,
washed out his mouth
and put him in his room
with Shakespeare’s Sonnets
so he could learn better
how to express himself.

Two days later

on the same bus
at the same time
the same riders
boarded

He looked at his
mother and said
What manner
of men are these
who wear their balls
in parenthesis?

Isn’t culture wonderful?

© John F. McMullen

 

Bio -- John F. McMullen is a graduate of Iona College (BA) and Marist College (MSCS & MPA), a member of the American Academy of Poets, Poets & Writers, Hudson Valley Writers Center, Mahopac Writers Group, The Mahopac and Yorktown Poetry Workshops, and is a columnist and radio host